Throughout my time in Florida i learned a lot. From attending lectures, to meeting so many amazing people from all over the world, I have also learned a tremendous amount about myself.
I feel like I have finally come to terms with the fact that i am sick again. When I was re diagnosed in August, i tried to push it away. I went off to university thinking i could live a perfectly normal teenage life, and continue my education while on the chemotherapy. I found that i just became too sick to be at school, i dropped my classes and came home. I spent my days on the couch at home unable to do much other then sleep and eat a little. My spirits were definitely down and i wasn’t feeling like myself. I feel like i finally am at a place where i accept the fact that i have Cancer again and now its time to do everything in my power to get better. I will most likely be home for the remainder of the school year, which used to really upset me but my life is so much more important then school or a party or pasta or a chocolate cake or anything that only provides instant satisfaction because i know it will onyl hurt me in the end I need to put all my energy into kicking this cancer to the curb once and for all. School will be waiting for me when im ready and so will the parties my pasta and chocolate cake, but for now its just not worth it.
Regardless of what any doctor or anyone says, i know that i am going to live an amazing fulfilled life, i was just forced to grow up a little too fast. But hey who says i cant be 19 when I’m 25 right?! I hate when i beat myself up about missing out 19 year old things but i figure i have all the time in the world to do those things! i can be 19 whenever i want.
Im not saying i don’t get upset though and i never have moments of grief. But i can honestly say I have never wished for a different life. I live a beautiful life and i truly believe this journey is all part of gods big plan for me
“if god brings me to it, he will bring me through it.