Today i started taking the chemotherapy pills. I only took them an hour ago so i havent felt any side effects yet. It was a very strange feeling taking chemo from a bottle in pill form. All day long i was looking over at the bottle trying to wrap my head around the fact that the bottle contained chemo. from my past experience chemo was administered in liquid IV form in the hospital, and my nurses had to wear gowns and a protective mask before hanging the bag on my IV tower. It was so strange to just be able to access the chemo at a time i chose, pour the pills into a little cup and swallow them. I still have to follow most of the same rules as before like no grapefruit, Advil, mouthwash, and the weird list goes on and on but i basically have it memorized from last year. And thats the thing… i never imagined having to use this knowledge again. just like yesterday when my doctor asked me if i had any left over anti nausea medication, and low and behold we had all the medication. It felt like i was back in March 2013 looking through all the chemo medications making sure i had enough before we started the next round.
Im still trying to understand everything that is going on right now, and part of me thinks i haven’t even comes to terms with the fact my cancer is back. It does not feel real yet, but i know it will soon. Cancer tried to beat me once and it failed, and it will continue to fail. I know i can beat this, it will just take more time. God has a plan for me, and this is the journey he’s taking me on to find it. I want to do great things with my life and i know one day i will be able to.
I will keep you all updated with treatment plans and how i am feeling.
I love you all